Valentine's Day has been celebrated for many years. The way we celebrate depends on our age, where we are in our life, who our people are and what is important to them. This photo was taken around 1956. I was three years old and am barely visible through the crowd of children and decorations. The two in the front are my sister, Lindsey and my cousin, Guy. Caroline, the baby at the time, is in the high chair. Paula is in the plaid dress. She would have been two at the time. Our life was full of celebrations in the 1950's. When our mothers and friends made a celebration it was an affair. All the confections were homemade. We were dressed for the occasion and expected to use the manners we were lovingly taught. No paper plates, no plastic forks and spoons. Love was involved in every step from preparation to clean up. There is one head, must be a boy, I do not recognize. This could have been any of my mother's friend's children. I tend to believe it is Drew Wood. I think Brenda Wood may be hidden between Drew and Lindsey. Drew and Brenda's mother, Verna, was my mother's life long best friend and the original "Martha Stewart". Every event required decoration. We were so lucky to have my mother and her friends teach us how to celebrate. How to dress for an occasion. How to set a table. How to sit at a table that has been set for an event. It made our lives better at the time and better for a lifetime.
My aunt, Lillie, was always a part of those parties. She and the other mothers took such care in preparation. My memories are full of beautiful, well set tables at my Aunt Lillie's house. Even those of us that sat at the "children's table" were greeted with a well set table. A starched and laundered tablecloth, cloth napkins, silver, crystal and some small centerpiece.
When I celebrate an event today, perhaps it may be the successful completion of a meal for friends, I am mindful of those experiences of our youth. I carefully prepare the food, not always completely homemade, dress the table and myself for the occasion. These rituals always bring to mind the spirit of those parties long ago and the wonderful ladies who took the time to prepare. My mother always said "people who dress pretty, act pretty". I believe people are more thoughtful when invited to share a meal at a dressed table. My mother, my Aunt and my mother's friends had no idea that there careful execution of those children's parties would be passed on to their grandchildren. My daughter, Katy, has become an adult who loves the ritual, that makes even a daily meal an occasion. I attribute that to those days in the 1940's and 1950's when my mother and her friends made even a nightly meal a ritual.
This Valentine's Day I will share a meal with friends. We are six people who have shared much of our adult lives together. As we go through the process of food preparation, setting the table; I will be reminded of those Valentine's parties long ago and be grateful.
Antidote: I often wonder if a meal or party well planned, where the adults are relaxed and fully engaged in conversation with the children would not go a long way in curing many of the social issues we have with our youth today. I do not believe it takes great financial resources to set a table and share a simple meal with ones children. Maybe we should start a movement.
Another wonderful memory. As we have discussed many times, we act the way we dress and if we don't take pride in ourselves, what is left? The rituals of our lives keep us grounded.
ReplyDeleteReading this post reminded me of many occasions I have had as an adult in Paragould. I remember a Fourth of July party at your house and we spent much of it outside. You had wonderful Japanese lanterns in the trees and small flags everywhere...things were quite festive. I also remember a trim the tree party with a beautiful table and all the finery. I remember many dinners with TOW and TOC with the beautiful English china and sparkling crystal. Fresh flowers were a part of all these memories. I remember bunko at Lisa Jarman's on St. Patrick's Day..with green drinks, green cucumber sandwiches and real shamrocks. I think what your Mom and the other ladies did for you is so important and I agree that a little more of this would be good for children and families in general. These are the things that help ground us and keep us a bit kinder and gentler.
ReplyDeleteOh my, my friends. I had forgotten about the green drinks and sandwiches with the real shamrocks. So many beautiful memories. As I remember Nate played the guitar for us under the stars. Did we know what memories we were making then? The old tree the Japanese lanterns hung from is long gone but I can still remember that night like it was yesterday.
ReplyDeleteI have all kinds of red to add to my china; glasses, salad plates, napkins. I think red is so useful on so many occasions: Christmas, Valentine's Day, Memeorial Day, Fourth of July, etc.
This has inspired me to want to do it all again.
Bec, I still think the baby in the Highchair is Paula and that I have yet to be born. And I think the girl in the plaid dress is Brenda Woods (who later became my best friend and college roommate ...our circles are so small). But here nor there, our mothers did such a wonderful job making life fun for us ... while instilling social graces. I never thought of the two as seperate, did you? We were talking today; I look at the pictures we are scanning and I see that the sofas are ...worn. But, small children are sitting at tables with silver and china and crystal ... and they are happy and comfortable. Today? the sofas and other furnishings are..."perfect"; but children eat alone, or worse, on plastic (ok, that's a joke...). But in a lot of ways, it is not a joke. Like you said, I think it made a difference. A big difference. And I have always felt sorry for children whose parents didn't value it.
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